A little while back, local blogger Middle Aged Woman Blogging (MAWB) was chastised by another local blogger (the infamous kcdad) for saying "my heart goes out" to the families...I have been thinking about the strength of that statement ever since, trying to understand why such a simple statement made kcdad feel the need to berate MAWB. I don't understand it and I'm fine with that.
Last night I was watching the mother who lost her 17 year old daughter over the weekend; as she sat there saying this child was "the light of my life", a tear rolled own my face, my hand went up to my heart and for that brief moment - I felt her pain. As I watched the families of the people shot and killed at Fort Hood, my throat started to constrict, a tear welled up in my eye and my hand instinctively went up to my heart - I briefly felt their pain.
My girls laugh at me when they see me watching a news report and be moved to tears. I used to try and hide it, but I don't anymore. I care about my fellow human beings and I want my children to know that empathy is okay - it makes one human.
EMPATHY - the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.
As I look at MAWB's blog today, she is struggling with the loss of a family friend. I read her post; I looked at the picture of the young man; I thought of his mother; my throat started to constrict and a tear welled up in my eye. I thought of my children; I thought of the mother and friends who are struggling with the loss of their loved one; and for a brief moment, my heart felt heavy and I just wanted to say...
I empathize with what you are going through ... my heart goes out to you.
6 comments:
Oh, Emerge..... thank you. I watched that mother on the news last night, too, and my heart ached for her, her daughter and all involved. This drug thing is poison and bigger than we know. People have no idea how wide spread it is and how many of our young people, as well as adults, are involved in a never ending cycle. I only wish I knew how to stop it.
I did not see the TV report but read about it in the PJStar and like all of you shed a tear as well. Then, I turned and read parts of the article to my 16-year old daughter. The part about this young person being a pretty good girl who was talented in art and had plans for college -- plans that will now never happen.
Even if you believe your children are doing the right thing, I think you can never let down your guard and must constantly remind them to be careful.
If we all had the gift of empathy the world would be a better place.
Yes, those kinds of sad stories make me cry, too, for the loss of life and for the aftermath the living have to deal with. Life will never be the same for those families.
I think some people look at the actions involved and think the outcome was deserved based on mistakes that were made. Yet, the punishment for experimenting with drugs should not be death. Everyone makes mistakes and we shouldn't discount sorrow because the person wasn't perfect.
And isn't it a shame that so many people have SELECTIVE empathy?
The shame is that so many people don't do anything about their feelings except acknowledge them. No one cares that you feel badly about someone else's pain. We all do. DO something to show you care. DO something to relieve that person's sense of emptiness, loneliness and grief.
I felt sorrow for MAWB's son's friend's death... since I do not know her, her son or the boy who died, it is meaningless for me to express that "my heart was moved by the story". If I knew her I would go to her side and listen to her and support her in her grief... not make public announcements about how empathetic I am.
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