I love this story about the family who stood up to bullies and helped make their child become a stronger person as a result.
It saddens me that the school would not act on behalf of the young lady while she was legally in their care. It’s difficult to watch the dad being deduced to going on the school bus and confronting the bullies. This story is a good example of how bullies impact entire families.
The whole riding the bus to and from school thing is something my family avoids; too much can happen on the school bus. It wouldn’t be a stretch to think that if a child is a bully on the school bus, chances are they are also a bully in the school.
It’s imperative that parents talk to their children about what is going on in their schools and in their classrooms. If your child is telling you that a teacher is constantly reprimanding one or two children; if they are telling you another student called the teacher a name and the teacher did nothing; if they are telling you that nobody does what the teacher says; if they are telling you the teacher keeps giving out warnings and they are not learning anything, contact the school. In my opinion, such a classroom is not safe - this is the type of classroom that bullies can thrive in. More than likely the bully controlling that classroom is also an agitator/ instigator/bully in the cafeteria, on the playground and on the school bus.
Every time your child tells you that a classroom is out of control, call the school and/or send an e-mail. Stand firm and be persistent... and by the way, don't think you can do it without the situation becoming adversarial - you'll only be fooling yourself.
It's slow going, but schools are just now getting to the point where they take bullying seriously and are instituting anti-bullying policies. But they can’t stop there; schools must also enforce that policy and offer students the necessary interventions.
Come on parents; let the schools know that you hold them accountable for the safety of your student. Make it clear to them that we need for our schools to be safe and have a climate that is conducive to learning.
Related articles: Psychology Today, Encourage Your Child to Talk About Bullying; and Bullying law puts New Jersey schools on spot
8 comments:
I do fault teachers if they see bullying and don't report it. I haven't worked with young kids, but I do know that older kids are smart enough to do their bullying out of the sight of teachers, etc.
One child recently told me that someone is stealing his school supplies--I told him to tell the teacher. He had already done so. Of course, if I were the teacher, I wouldn't know what to do because the teacher can't do much unless she/he can catch the culprit in the act.
Most kids are too afraid to report bullying, so they need to be taught (probably at home) how, to whom, and when to report such events.
Of course, the ultimate handling of bullies will not be handled in the classroom by the classroom teacher. All she/he can do is to report it to the principal, deans, etc., who have the ultimate responsibility and the only ones with the power to mete out consequences.
Bullying isn't as easy to spot as one might think. I have no idea how a bus driver can do that and drive the bus safely. I'm not sure if District 150 provides bus monitors.
P.S., if a student told me he/she was being harassed by another student, I generally asked the student's permission to turn the situation over to the dean, who has the authority to call other students in for questioning, etc.--I didn't have that power.
Maybe if more parents stand up for their children, are more aware of what is happening in the classroom, and demand some action when students are continually misbehaving, the administration's position of "Keep the kids in the classroom no matter what" can be changed. As a teacher, I can only do so much and if the student keeps being returned to my classroom and I receive no support, I am left with little recourse. Trust me, the principals listen much more closely to the parents than the teachers. Please, parents, demand that something be done about the students who are disrupting the classes and stealing everyone's education.
As a classroom teacher, I tell the parents to complain to the principal about the behavior of students continually returned to the classroom after disruptions. I have had students who hit other children with no provocation and I send him to the office. The child is returned very shortly, sometimes with a COOKIE, with the principal telling me that he/she was "good" for her! The fact is, the child get one on one attention from the principal, something I cannot do with a class of 25 students. My charge is to educate ALL of my students and protect them. When I am unable to do that, I ask the parents to talk to the principal.
All students deserve a safe learning environment but a lot of bullying happens outside of the classroom where the teacher has little impact. I agree with you. Parents should call the school and, if not satisfied, should call the district. Bullying is a hard problem to solve and it often gets blown off. Parents need to keep advocating for their children.
Over the years I have had many "bullies in training". The one thing I found in common with all of them is that they would bully smaller children in my classroom, then go home and tell their parents that THEY were the ones being bullied. Then those parents would come to me and ask me why I am allowing their child to be bullied by xyz child. Usually once they saw the size of xyz child, they realized their child was not only the bully, but a liar as well. Rarely did I ever see these parents again...refusing to return calls or even coming to school functions. Without the bully's parent support, we, as teachers, can do little to change this behavior. I have watched "little" bullies become "big" bullies over and over.
A school's bullying problem can be allowed to grow, because parents are inclined to try and deal with it in private, in an effort to spare their child more negative attention.
Unfortunately, being quiet enables a bully. Bullies must be outed by students and parents - the school won't do it. The problem has to be made as apparent as possible and the only way to do that is if parents encourage their children to speak up.
Emerge: I completely agree. That is why I (Dist. 1150 teacher) try to handle the bully from the get go. If that does not happen, I go to the parents of the child being bullied and tell them that they need to speak with the principal, who will hopefully make the bully's parents understand that this behavior will not be tolerated. Talking to the parents myself rarely changes anything.
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